To Jump Or Not To Jump
Much as I hate to admit it, I really don’t enjoy the fact that Erica Jong is generally correct. That when I am feeling fear I am usually exactly where I need to be, doing what I need to be doing. I much prefer the thought that if I am feeling fear it must mean that I should step back, get away from the danger, and take care of myself. Unfortunately, often it just means I’m not trusting my Higher Power and I’m back to being anxiously self-protective.
Do you ever experience this? Sometimes it is similar to the way I felt when one individual tried to teach me to swim when I was younger. He told me to jump off the high dive, into the 10’ tank. Well, for many people his intimidation was a very good technique to break through fear and just try it. For me? I sank. You think I’m kidding, we can’t sink in a pool? I’m here to tell you I sank, couldn’t figure which way was up, was terrified, and he had to come rescue me. I left—and it took almost one on one swim lessons at a different place to even get me to consider swimming where I couldn’t touch bottom again.
You know, what he did wasn’t really wrong—he was trying to dare me, help me reach beyond my previously determined limits. And we all need encouragement to do this. His method, however, was quite poor.
Thankfully I’ve also had wonderful instructors, life mentors, and spiritual directors who have inspired me to take risks, like returning to school for my doctoral degree or attempting aerobics or learning and performing spiritual dance.
What are you holding back on? What is something you want to try, perhaps even crave attempting, or have hidden from everyone because you worry what others will think? Perhaps taking the next step in that new relationship? Or maybe it is taking the risk to tell your partner you are feeling very stale and want to change careers. Is it the fear of taking a class or buying some beads and trying your hand at jewelry making? The belief you are too “old” to learn to play an instrument? We almost all have something we hold back on.
At a workshop this week we were challenged to let go and stay in the present and experience whatever came as it came. And you know, we all agreed later this had been the most enjoyable and powerful workshop in a one year journey we have been on together. Too much head work and not enough emotional growth and challenge were making us bored and boring. But for the risks we took, inspite of the fear, we would not have changed. We were where we needed to be that day and we each took a step forward. The challenge, then, is to continue to do this personally, in my practice, and to ask you to join me in doing so as well.
If doing it alone is too intimidating, like me with the swimming, then find a coach or another swimmer to go with—a friend, a group, a therapist, a pastor or a guru. It’s exhilarating to take the leap to the next level of life—even if it is a bit scary!
Do you ever experience this? Sometimes it is similar to the way I felt when one individual tried to teach me to swim when I was younger. He told me to jump off the high dive, into the 10’ tank. Well, for many people his intimidation was a very good technique to break through fear and just try it. For me? I sank. You think I’m kidding, we can’t sink in a pool? I’m here to tell you I sank, couldn’t figure which way was up, was terrified, and he had to come rescue me. I left—and it took almost one on one swim lessons at a different place to even get me to consider swimming where I couldn’t touch bottom again.
You know, what he did wasn’t really wrong—he was trying to dare me, help me reach beyond my previously determined limits. And we all need encouragement to do this. His method, however, was quite poor.
Thankfully I’ve also had wonderful instructors, life mentors, and spiritual directors who have inspired me to take risks, like returning to school for my doctoral degree or attempting aerobics or learning and performing spiritual dance.
What are you holding back on? What is something you want to try, perhaps even crave attempting, or have hidden from everyone because you worry what others will think? Perhaps taking the next step in that new relationship? Or maybe it is taking the risk to tell your partner you are feeling very stale and want to change careers. Is it the fear of taking a class or buying some beads and trying your hand at jewelry making? The belief you are too “old” to learn to play an instrument? We almost all have something we hold back on.
At a workshop this week we were challenged to let go and stay in the present and experience whatever came as it came. And you know, we all agreed later this had been the most enjoyable and powerful workshop in a one year journey we have been on together. Too much head work and not enough emotional growth and challenge were making us bored and boring. But for the risks we took, inspite of the fear, we would not have changed. We were where we needed to be that day and we each took a step forward. The challenge, then, is to continue to do this personally, in my practice, and to ask you to join me in doing so as well.
If doing it alone is too intimidating, like me with the swimming, then find a coach or another swimmer to go with—a friend, a group, a therapist, a pastor or a guru. It’s exhilarating to take the leap to the next level of life—even if it is a bit scary!