THE WHOLENESS INSTITUTE - HOPE AND HEALING THROUGH COUNSELING

Thanksgiving: The Balance Between Togetherness and Solitude

11/24/2024

Thanksgiving is often seen as a time for family, a time to gather around a table full of food, share stories, and celebrate the warmth of connection. It's a day where traditions are cherished, and the importance of family and togetherness is emphasized. Yet, for many, this holiday can also stir up feelings of loneliness or stress, even in the midst of family.

For those who struggle with being alone, Thanksgiving can amplify that feeling of isolation. It can be a reminder of what’s missing—whether it's the absence of loved ones due to distance, loss, or fractured relationships. Even for those who are blessed to be surrounded by family, the pressures of expectations of needing to be present for all families all the time can be overwhelming. Even if expectations aren’t there, we can sometimes put pressure on ourselves to try to be everywhere for everyone.

On the flip side, there are also those who, despite being surrounded by family, might crave some space. Or maybe you just need a mental break this year due to being overwhelmed with work and a hectic life schedule. Being in close quarters with relatives can be both wonderful and taxing. The noise, the conversations, the demands of social interaction—it’s a lot. In these moments, the desire to withdraw and recharge can feel conflicting. We love our families, but we’re also human, and sometimes we need time alone to reset, reflect, or just breathe.

So, how do we reconcile these two sides—the pull toward connection and the need for solitude?

Set Boundaries:
It’s okay to express your need for space. If you're feeling overwhelmed by the chaos of the day or need a moment of quiet, it's important to communicate that to your family. Often, people aren’t aware of how much you need time to yourself. You don’t need to justify or apologize for it. Taking care of your mental health, especially on a day that’s meant to be joyful, should be prioritized.

Find Small Moments of Connection:
If you’re feeling alone, try to focus on small moments where you can feel connected. A brief conversation with someone you trust, a shared laugh, or a quiet moment with a friend can help ease feelings of isolation. Remember that you don’t have to experience the holiday in one big, picture-perfect chunk. Sometimes it’s the little moments that matter most.

Practice Self-Compassion:
Whether you’re alone or with others, Thanksgiving is a reminder that we don’t always have to meet the expectations of what others believe the holiday should be. If you’re struggling, it’s okay to not feel “Thanksgiving-perfect.” Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling, and don’t beat yourself up for it. Be kind to yourself—sometimes, we’re the ones who need the most grace.

Embrace the Complexities:
Family dynamics are complicated, and holidays can bring out the best and worst in us. If you're navigating tricky family relationships, give yourself permission to acknowledge those complexities without judgment. It’s okay to set limits and step away if things get too heavy. And for those who find solace in being alone, know that taking time for yourself doesn’t diminish your love for others.

Thanksgiving is a day meant to appreciate what we have, but it’s also a reminder that we are all carrying our own struggles and joys. Whether you’re surrounded by a loud, lively family or sitting alone at the table, the key is to honor your own needs. The balance between connection and solitude is different for each of us, and it’s okay to find a space in between.

However, you choose to spend the day, be gentle with yourself, and remember: You’re never truly alone in the human experience of both longing for togetherness and needing time for yourself.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Take care,
Dr Beth

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It's Okay!

7/25/2024

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It’s Sunday afternoon as I sit down to write this post. And I just had to calm Finley, my Australian shepherd from barking at the wind stirring up the windchimes and bushes and trees blowing in the backyard. It’s looking like a monsoon afternoon may bring a storm – or perhaps just wind and dust. Either way, the world is safer at this minute for Finley as I calmed him and let him know “it’s okay.”

(Finley asleep near me.)

Given the events of the last 8 days I do so wish it were as easy to calm the wind blowing through the trees and stirring the windchimes in everyone’s lives. No matter where a person is politically in the USA it is a time of wondering as the election gets closer with one runner shot 8 days ago, and the other stepping down in the race today. So many questions, so much unknown. It reminds me of the beginning of the pandemic and talking to a group about how fear of the unknown is the hardest thing to deal with in working with their groups.

Many of you know that John O’Donohue is one of my favorite writers and he speaks to these times back when he was writing:
“It is a strange and wonderful fact to be here, walking around in a body, to have a whole world within you and a world at your fingertips outside you. It is an immense privilege, and it is incredible that humans manage to forget the miracle of being here. Rilke said, ‘Being here is so much,’ and it is uncanny how social reality can deaden and numb us so that the mystical wonder of our lives goes totally unnoticed.” ― John O'Donohue

I want you to notice one line where he quotes Rilke, “Being here is so much.” It might feel that way right now in a negative way. And not to the side of wonder, but to confusion, regret, dominance, sadness, or even assurance. It’s important to look at where you are. And know that you are not alone in it. It may be a lot, but we are not alone. We have friends, loved ones, mentors, and elders to whom we can turn to talk with, share, and not be so alone. So that “being here” is not alone.

The other line I want you to note is “it is an immense privilege [to be here, walking around]” (O’Donohue). This is a crucial time to connect in life with your higher power. Today and the next few months will undoubtedly be full of ups and downs, excitement and fear, wins and losses. But we can know we are solid if we but stop, take a breath, and another, and then ask for help. Life amid questions and uncertainty is a life we can get through more easily when we ask for help. “Tell me, show me, give me what I need to see and know today” is my daily prayer. But it’s always best when I take the time to slow down, breathe, and listen, as I asked Finley to earlier. The future isn’t known, but “it’s okay” today. One day at a time.

Take care,
Dr. Beth
Beth Sikora, PhD, LPC, NCC

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Summer Fun in the Desert

7/14/2024

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"Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability." --
Sam Keen

As the summer heat comes upon us, and we are in the triple digits now, we have to look for ways to have fun in the furnace that is the Valley of the Sun. I grew up here in the desert and have some fond memories from childhood despite the overwhelming heat.

I can remember laying on the grass in the shade of a tree watching the white fluffy clouds float by with my friend. We would lie there looking for shapes in the clouds. Mostly we were looking for horses and dogs because that’s what we loved, but we saw other things too.

When it got to 115̊ºF we would try to fry an egg on the sidewalk. We heard it could be done…it can’t. And of course, as young kids we never wanted to wear shoes, so we would run to each other’s houses barefoot, burning our feet on the hot sidewalks and asphalt, and cooling them in the grass.

During the hottest part of the day, we would huddle inside and play board games or cards in the cool house.

Sometimes, we were able to go to the local pool and swim with our friends. That was always a favorite. Any time swimming was involved we were excited about the activity. So, we looked forward to weekend pool parties at the neighbor’s house. When we got our own pool, of course, pool fun was much easier and taken advantage of much more frequently.

As we got older, we were able to go bowling and to the movies as a way of staying busy, having fun, and staying cool. I also looked forward to family camping trips and Girl Scout camping trips during the summer. I loved camping because we got to go up to the mountains into the tall pines. It was cooler and usually breezy. I loved to listen to the wind blowing through the ponderosa pine trees. It was a beautiful, peaceful sound.

Monsoon season was exciting with the dust storms and thunderstorms which gave a break from the heat. I loved watching the wall of dust as it moved toward the house from the east. It was the most amazing sight to this huge wall of dust rolling toward you. As it got closer the wind would start to pick up. And then it was upon you and the sky would turn orange from the dust filtering the light from the sun. Finally, the thunderstorm would follow with big drops of rain, flashes of lightning, and booming thunder. And almost as fast as it came, it was gone. It was unfortunate when the thunderstorm didn’t follow and all you got was wind and dust. Or just enough rain to get everything dirty. But when you had a thunderstorm, it would cool everything down for a little while, giving a much needed break from the heat.

These are some of my fond memories growing up here in the Valley of the Sun. What are some of yours? What can you do to bring some of those memories to life again this summer? There are many things available to us as adults. Maybe check out some art galleries or museums, try one of the dine-in movie theatres, or organize an escape game party or board game party.

The pool is still a great way to have fun. If you have a family but don’t have a pool, take the kids to the local public pool or splash pad, or a water park. And a movie or game night is always a good option for the family. If you are single, organize a group of friends for a game night. There are so many great games out there today that are new and exciting.

So, resurrect the kid in you this summer. Find an activity that you can do to beat the heat and have some fun this summer! And teach your children how to have fun away from the electronics despite the heat. And make the time to relax in any way that is meaningful to you.

Reminder: Keep your kids safe near water this summer.

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Easter Tulips

3/29/2024

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March and April always bring Easter at some point to our world. Some celebrate, some don’t. To me, it always elicits memories of Mrs. Mikita’s third grade classroom in Elmhurst, IL. She had tulip decorations throughout the classroom, on the bulletin boards, on the blackboards, on the windows. The bright colored flowers, and the bright Easter eggs meant that spring was here, Easter was coming, and snow would eventually be melting and leaving. (Although sometimes to return at least once more!) But it was rebirth, joy, new life, and joyful times ahead. And for those following Christian tradition, that is exactly what Easter brings – rebirth, new life possible, and joy that knew no previous bounds.
And yet, we can still feel fear deep within us, as though our flowers within are not blooming. We know this through the recent series of articles on depression we have been posting. Yet, this is a time to reach up to our Higher Power – God or Yahweh. A time to reach in – to our own hearts and minds as well as out to others to ask and embrace forgiveness. To speak our fears and accept the love and support offered by a safe and supportive friend, partner, priest, or other. And to reach into our hearts and see what our Higher Power is offering, and then to accept what we are given in the way of support, forgiveness, and love. All of this will allow us to blossom. As John O’Donohue summarized this:

This Easter Sunday I wish for you the bulbs planted last fall in your heart, possibly without your even knowing it…

Blossom into a full and beautiful tulip garden.

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Senior Isolation and Loneliness

3/5/2024

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Last time we looked at Senior isolation, loneliness and depression for our loved ones who are living on their own, or maybe even with you. But, what about those in assisted living? How can they feel isolated when there are other people around them? How can they feel lonely when they are almost never alone?

Loneliness among the elderly is not merely a lack of companionship; it's the absence of meaningful connections that once defined their daily lives. If they don’t feel truly connected to or supported by the people around them, being with them may not provide enough fulfillment to combat loneliness. They may no longer have the relationships that once meant so much to them.

It's difficult to watch a loved one navigate the waters of loneliness and depression. And loneliness and depression in seniors has some health risks associated with it, including heart disease and stroke. And for those with heart failure, the risk of emergency room visits, or hospitalization increases. So, what can we do to help the people we love deal with these feelings. Keeping a senior active and engaged might seem challenging, especially if you live far away or if your loved one is living with health, cognitive, or mobility limitations. So, what can we do to help? Try some of the following:

Call them: use the phone, Zoom, or a video phone call.
Regular contact with loved ones, even phone calls, FaceTime, or Zoom, can help an older adult maintain social connections. If your loved one struggles with technology, a professional caregiver can help with set-up and troubleshooting to get them going.
Help them feel needed and valued.
Depression in the elderly sometimes stems from feeling unwanted or not valued. Ask for input or assistance from your loved one — even if they live far away. They will thrive and appreciate the opportunity to assist.
Participate in favorite activities.
Find activities you both enjoy, and plan times together to do them. Stay connected through regular visits, weekend dinners, baking cookies, card games, evening walks, or grandchildren’s sporting events. These activities can go a long way toward preventing isolation and depression.
Create opportunities for companionship.
Encourage your older loved one to safely engage in activities with community groups, religious organizations, and senior centers to provide opportunities to meet new friends and socialize. If they are in assisted living, they may have planned activities there in which your loved one can participate. If they are living alone, hiring a companion can sometimes help.

But what if this loneliness becomes something more: depression. Depression can be a vicious circle for those who already feel lonely; causing a low mood or lack of motivation which makes it very difficult for them to spend time with others. When they withdraw from others, the feelings of loneliness can increase. This can in turn deepen depression. And the lack of interaction with others may cause other health issues such as: Alzheimer’s, dementia, or other cognitive health problems. Watch for the signs of depression: feelings of hopelessness, loss of interest in activities, changes in sleep or appetite, and thoughts of suicide.

If you suspect your loved one is suffering from depression, talk with them. Let them know they are not alone. If the depression is serious, suggest they see a doctor for medication, or that they speak with a therapist. Offer to go with them to the doctor if they are afraid to go alone. Support them as they take the steps to improve their lives.

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Senior Isolation and Loneliness

2/22/2024

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Following up on my last blog about the Winter Blues, I would like to address a special population directly, those who often suffer from depression the most. So, this is for anyone over the age of 60, and from one of your peers – me. I don’t particularly care for the term “elderly” so I am going to instead use senior, a term I can better identify with. There is an issue that is growing in our population, Isolation, loneliness and depression. This is a silent struggle that often goes unnoticed. Many seniors find themselves grappling with a profound sense of solitude and depression.

Aging is a natural part of life's journey, and with it comes a myriad of changes - physical, emotional, and social. As we enter our senior years, and throughout the 40 years that make it up (60-100+), the social landscape can transform into unfamiliar terrain, and multiple times at that. Children grow up, friends move away, and the once-familiar faces may become distant memories. In this process, we can find ourselves standing on the precipice of isolation, peering into a void that threatens to engulf our sense of purpose and belonging. Loneliness is not merely a lack of companionship; it's the absence of meaningful connections that once defined our daily lives. Social interactions that were once abundant may dwindle, leaving behind a void that cannot be easily filled.

Anyone living alone, and at any age, can face these feelings. Whether retired or working, we need to face loneliness head on. And please, if you haven’t retired yet, plan, plan, plan for it as loneliness and depression are more likely. I recall my mother struggling with meaning in her mid-60’s. It was then that she added several activities to her life: hospital volunteer; Eucharistic home-bound ministry at her church; and her ladies stretching, exercising, and friendship group. These activities carried her through her late 70’s; adding meaning, friendships, and reducing her loneliness.

If loneliness is there, but also depression, making changes may only be part of what needs to happen to get back into a good place. Feeling down occasionally, lonely, anxious, sad, or “empty” is normal. However, if these feelings persist for weeks or months, it could signify a more serious depression. Here are some signs of depression to watch for in yourself or another:

Feelings of hopelessness, guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness, Irritability, restlessness, or having trouble sitting still, Loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, Decreased energy or fatigue, Moving or talking more slowly, Difficulty with concentration, memory, or decision-making, Changes in sleep habits, such as trouble falling asleep, waking up too early, or sleeping too much, Changes in appetite Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts.
If you are facing depression, or stuck in loneliness and isolation pre-depression, please remember you are not alone. Sometimes it means reaching out to an old friend. Or, finding a new friend group or two as my mother found. Maybe taking a class in something you’ve been interested in will help. But if those things don’t help, or you checked off more than two of the first 9 symptoms above, or just the 10th, talk with your doctor as well as someone close to you.

If you know a senior who seems to be struggling and is not getting help, offer to listen and encourage them to go to their doctor. Sometimes more than a change is needed to resolve the issue. Only by addressing it with their doctor will they be able to get the medication needed to help them. And having your support may be what they need to take that step.

Both of my parents often said in their 80’s that “getting older is not for sissies.” And they are right. But dad also had his humor until the end. He celebrated every holiday, birthday, and family get-together as a special event, golfed every week – 3 times, played poker with his buddies monthly, and went to a support meeting at least twice a week. He lived. My mother lived. I watched a birthday special for Dick Van Dyke’s 98th birthday this month. His message was to keep moving …” get your living done first, and have the nerve to try something. Failure’s OK. “

So, take a risk: call the doctor; call a friend, sign up for a class; join a book group; move closer to friends or family; go to a Bible study; play poker with your buddies; learn to garden at your pace whether pots, raised bed, or in the ground; and keep moving. Finley is one of my biggest joys as my pup. Getting a dog or cat for a pet reduces depression and improves health. But take a risk…You may have to learn new ways to live at 68 or 75 or 83, as life and our bodies change. Remember my dad’s face … and keep smiling, keep getting out, and revise your activities and life as needed. As Betty White said: “Don’t try to be young. Stay interested in stuff.”

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Winter Blues

1/19/2024

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The holidays are over. Lights taken down, decorations packed away, candles blown out. Maybe you’re more aware of the brevity of our days, the darkness or grayness of the weather and short days, or the loneliness as all of the activity has ended and you’re back at work full-time. While some of this is very normal and natural; feelings of depression, isolation, anxiety, or simply "feeling down" which are intense or last for more than two weeks can be a symptom of a more serious problem--depression.

Frequently the holidays bring to the surface long avoided feelings of loneliness, discouragement, or dissatisfaction with family relationships. You may find you feel disconnected from others, that you don't count, or that no one cares for you. Often food, music, and work are used to push away those feelings. But in bed, late at night, you're aware of the feelings again. And with no holiday to look forward to, it’s even harder to keep going.

It is important to determine whether the blues are temporary or are a symptom of depression. If it’s been more than 10-14 days, it's time to consider emotional reasons for depression. If they are deep and/or began in November, you might also need to consider whether you have seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

Generally, the holiday blues will resolve with no extra effort within a few weeks. While you may feel sad, tired, or distressed, you are able to handle everyday activities and responsibilities. Spring may become your goal as you deal with rain or the spring break vacation coming up. You are moving forward.

Depression is more intense than the "blues". First, the hope in the vacation or spring or some other experience is not present. Depression is interfering with your daily life. What used to be enjoyable may now feel like a burden. In fact, getting out of bed in the morning may be more than you can handle some days.

Other warning signs are:

Feelings of emptiness, guilt, hopelessness, or despair,
Lack of energy--even after eight hours of sleep,
Changes in eating and sleeping patterns,
Feeling irritable and overwhelmed—life’s responsibilities feel crushing,
You can’t concentrate or follow through on plans, or
Memory isn’t as crisp as usual.

The good news is that depression IS treatable. Up to 80% of those who finally seek help are helped. If you have a doctor, nurse practitioner, therapist, or psychiatrist you trust, go, and talk with them about what is going on. Often, we believe we must keep a stiff upper lip and not ask for help for depression. It may seem a sign of weakness to ask. But the fact is depression is not helped by just “thinking positively". Professional intervention is often necessary, and treatment for depression may be multi-faceted.

First, see a therapist for a complete evaluation. For years studies have indicated that therapy along with anti-depressants is more effective than anti-depressants alone. Naturopaths and others also have good luck with herbal remedies many times. Then, increase physical activity as exercise allows the body to produce more endorphins which increases mood. Minimize the amount of sugar and flour you eat as these foods increase depression. Finally, get adequate but not excessive rest--six to nine hours per night. If this sounds like too much, choose one to try for the next week. If you don’t have success, then call one of the professionals I mentioned above. If you don’t know someone, ask a friend for a referral.

You might also try the following:

Partnering with a friend can be very helpful during these times. Connect with a friend to hold each other accountable to do one thing you've avoided. Build on that success.
Listen to your heart. Do you need time with a friend, a funny movie, or a day with a child?
Often depression is anger turned inward. Consider forgiving yourself.
Take care of your physical needs. Set reasonable goals and develop a way to achieve them.
Plan an outing for March when it's warmer and brighter. Or, consider your spring garden and what you will do with that as it warms up.

Hold onto hope. As C.S. Lewis said, “You are never too told to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” It may feel impossible today, but if you reach out to another, accept help, and don’t stop believing, you will find a clearer day ahead.

#thewholenessinstitute

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Hope During the Holidays

12/18/2023

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The Advent season is a time of preparation for the coming of Christmas and the reminder of the birth of Jesus. What does this mean for us in our everyday hurried lives during this busy season? To me, it is a time of peace, hope and joy. Let’s focus on the hope today. Hold onto the thought that hope will get us through. That doesn’t mean that we always get what we hope for, but that we are, in the end, always protected and strengthened to get through what comes in our lives.

Advent is a time of hope, and that can be very welcome during times of war , financial crisis, and other challenges. On some days I believe hope is one of the only things we do have (an object) and a step we can take (hope is an action). When I was at church a week or so ago this was brought home to me again by Fr. Garrett Galvin of Franciscan School of Theology. I’m sure I’ve used the word in both ways, and yet I’d not acknowledged the fact it was both action and thing, verb and noun. If one has a spiritual connection, I do believe it may be easier. But hope, in the end, is the mental or spiritual or emotional trust that something will happen or come to be in the future. I saw a picture when perusing the Internet looking for some different views of hope. The Christian view of hope at this time of Advent is that of focusing on light instead of darkness; the Judaic of Hannukah is hope in the midst of darkness. Essentially the message of hope is to trust that there will be light, brightness, change, or answers once the day is again well-lit or the time of difficulty passes.

Henri Nouwen wrote of radical hope: He wrote that it is waiting with openness and trust – (wow, hard to do!) that “something is happening for us that is far beyond our own imaginings.” I have to tell you, that is not something I can do daily – leaning far beyond into a Source, for me a source of strength from my God despite anything that I might encounter in life. I may seek to be that strong, but it is a daily choice.

And that’s the funny thing about hope, it is a choice, and it is a gift. We don’t always realize this, but it’s true. I know how hard it is to hope amid those dark seasons. When all one has hoped for or believed to be true is suddenly turned upside down, leaving us bereft, questioning the reality of all one believes or holds sacred in life or a relationship. So how to change and lean in more fully to hope?

It takes daily living in hope to finally feel it. It can be unbelievably difficult, but hope demands we keep moving before we feel it. The paradox I’ve found to be true is that I must act on hope, trusting I will eventually feel it, and by the time I do the most challenging times have finally passed. I want to feel it before and during the tough time. But while I consciously hold onto the thought of it, the feeling comes after recovery from cancer, after one has finalized the divorce on all levels and gone on to live a new life, or after one’s energy rebuilds following surgery or chemotherapy. Or has it? Isn’t hope the living – the belief things will get better…and the time we can see the results the effect of the hope? Think about how that might apply in your life. You might be surprised to find you have some hope – you’re just not acting on or living it.

Make no mistake, living a radical hope in which one believes life will improve beyond one’s expectations, is not easy. And, especially during this Advent season, lean into your Higher Power, and trust in the hope that things will get better. It will give one some modicum of peace in the moment. Despite the migraines, nausea, sleepless nights, or worried days we may also experience, hope says “but this will change and improve eventually.” So, through personal crisis, or preparation for Christmas, or through Hanukkah, or as one tends the crops before Kwanzaa–may the last weeks of Advent and December be a month of radical hope for you.

Take care,

Dr. Beth

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Managing the Holidays

12/2/2023

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Is your holiday season different this year? Maybe you must work and can’t be at events with family or friends. Perhaps you are feeling depressed and anxious already, and as you are learning to manage it, with holidays upon you, you are feeling you’ll never get hold of the emotions. It’s possible someone close to you died this year, and the point of holidays seems removed from you. Or maybe you are struggling with an illness and so the thought of holidays, food, or get-togethers just isn’t as important to you as you deal with the illness. Whatever may be different this year for you, perhaps we can simplify it a bit and make your holidays not just manageable but truly meaningful.

1 Breathe In, Breathe Out: Finding Calm Amidst the Chaos

Keep calm and take 3 deep, slow breaths.
So, the idea here is to just stop – slow down – breath. For those of you who have anxiety, pain, or need to take a bit more time, I love this practice and recommend it regularly. For the breaths:

Breath in slowly through your nose to the count of 4.
Hold that breath to the count of 7.
Release the breath slowly to the count of 8.

2   Perfectionism: Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations

My struggle during the holidays is perfectionism. I tend to want everything impeccably done – from perfectly wrapped gifts to a flawlessly decorated home. Over the years, I've learned to prioritize and let go of unrealistic expectations. As Brene Brown wisely puts it, I strive for healthy goals rather than falling into the trap of perfectionism. By avoiding paralysis and exhaustion, I aim for a balanced and enjoyable holiday season, recognizing that some years may be minimal while others are more involved. The key is to move through the holidays in a healthier way, ensuring a better start to the new year on January 1.

3   Shopping Simplified: A Guide to Thoughtful Gifting

Consider alternative, stress-free ways for gift-giving, especially if you're facing health challenges, financial constraints, or a lack of shopping energy. Opt for online orders, catalog browsing, or thoughtful gift cards that can be easily purchased through your computer, tablet, or a simple phone call. Another heartfelt approach is sharing homemade treats or creating personalized gifts, such as notes of appreciation or cherished memories. These gestures can forge connections and bring joy without the need for extensive shopping expeditions.

You can get creative. Check out Pinterest for ideas. Ask your friends for their thoughts or what they’ve done. The goal here is to keep it simple and low stress whatever you choose to purchase or make.

4   Downtime: The Secret Ingredient to a Balanced Holiday

While prioritizing rest may seem mundane, it's a crucial step, especially when combating fatigue. Fatigue impairs our ability to navigate life effectively. Mental Health America emphasizes that rest isn't just about regaining energy; it regulates hormones, aids muscle repair, enhances cognitive functions, and acts as a buffer against depression and headaches. Consider the wisdom of our canine companions—experts at ensuring they get the rest they need. As a dog owner, I've learned from my dog's trainer that downtime is essential for both the pet and owner relationship. Just as my dog needs it to relax, I need it to maintain a sense of control and well-being. Therefore, for your own sake, prioritize and book your downtime first.

5   Feelings: Acknowledging and Embracing

Navigating holiday emotions can be challenging when there's pressure to be constantly cheerful. However, acknowledging and processing your true feelings is essential for a smoother journey through this season. Whether through journaling, confiding in a friend, talking to a therapist, expressing yourself through art, or simply recognizing your emotions, taking these steps helps you own and understand your feelings. Avoiding emotions only delays their expression and may lead to unintended outbursts. Devote just five minutes to journaling or quiet reflection—it can make a significant difference in overcoming emotional bottlenecks.

6   Mindful Consumption: Balancing Indulgence and Wellness

While indulging during the holidays is common, it's crucial to maintain balance. Remember to stay hydrated, incorporate exercise or walks, limit sugars and alcohol, and uphold your usual vitamin and self-care routines. Even one day of following these guidelines contributes to better overall health. If dealing with addiction, prioritize sobriety, considering extra meetings if needed. Explore available support during Christmas, as many areas offer 24-hour meetings for those struggling. The holiday season isn't about the quantity of challenges but how we carry them. Embrace spiritual practices, whether through reading, meditation, or attending religious services, to stay grounded. Take time for rest, reflection, and connection with your spiritual beliefs, fostering a sense of peace and vitality. Ensure a day of rest, reflecting on gratitude and spiritual connection, throughout the holiday season. Prioritize self-care amidst the week's hectic pace, approaching each day in December with a focus on your well-being rather than conforming to perceived expectations.

7   Spiritual Connection: Nourishing the Soul

Don’t forget to take time to connect with and nurture your soul. Whether it’s meditation, reading a spiritual book or the Bible, or taking a walk in nature, feed your soul during this hectic season. Sometimes when the holidays get hectic, we forget to pray and ask for guidance. We tend to put God on a shelf because we would rather be getting things done rather than praying about what needs to be done. But God will never be outdone in generosity. Give time to prayer and meditation and you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.

As we embark on this journey together, remember that the holidays are not about the challenges we face but how we live through them. Join us in creating a season of simplicity, mindfulness, and genuine joy. Stay tuned for insights, tips, and a sprinkle of inspiration to make this holiday season your most meaningful one yet.
Take care,
Dr. Beth

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