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It's Okay!

7/25/2024

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It’s Sunday afternoon as I sit down to write this post. And I just had to calm Finley, my Australian shepherd from barking at the wind stirring up the windchimes and bushes and trees blowing in the backyard. It’s looking like a monsoon afternoon may bring a storm – or perhaps just wind and dust. Either way, the world is safer at this minute for Finley as I calmed him and let him know “it’s okay.”
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​(Finley asleep near me.) 

Given the events of the last 8 days I do so wish it were as easy to calm the wind blowing through the trees and stirring the windchimes in everyone’s lives. No matter where a person is politically in the USA it is a time of wondering as the election gets closer with one runner shot 8 days ago, and the other stepping down in the race today. So many questions, so much unknown. It reminds me of the beginning of the pandemic and talking to a group about how fear of the unknown is the hardest thing to deal with in working with their groups.

Many of you know that John O’Donohue is one of my favorite writers and he speaks to these times back when he was writing:
“It is a strange and wonderful fact to be here, walking around in a body, to have a whole world within you and a world at your fingertips outside you. It is an immense privilege, and it is incredible that humans manage to forget the miracle of being here. Rilke said, ‘Being here is so much,’ and it is uncanny how social reality can deaden and numb us so that the mystical wonder of our lives goes totally unnoticed.”  ― John O'Donohue

I want you to notice one line where he quotes Rilke, “Being here is so much.” It might feel that way right now in a negative way. And not to the side of wonder, but to confusion, regret, dominance, sadness, or even assurance. It’s important to look at where you are. And know that you are not alone in it. It may be a lot, but we are not alone. We have friends, loved ones, mentors, and elders to whom we can turn to talk with, share, and not be so alone. So that “being here” is not alone.

The other line I want you to note is “it is an immense privilege [to be here, walking around]” (O’Donohue). This is a crucial time to connect in life with your higher power. Today and the next few months will undoubtedly be full of ups and downs, excitement and fear, wins and losses. But we can know we are solid if we but stop, take a breath, and another, and then ask for help. Life amid questions and uncertainty is a life we can get through more easily when we ask for help. “Tell me, show me, give me what I need to see and know today” is my daily prayer. But it’s always best when I take the time to slow down, breathe, and listen, as I asked Finley to earlier. The future isn’t known, but “it’s okay” today. One day at a time.

Take care,
Dr. Beth
Beth Sikora, PhD, LPC, NCC

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Summer Fun in the Desert

7/14/2024

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"Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability." --
Sam Keen
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As the summer heat comes upon us, and we are in the triple digits now, we have to look for ways to have fun in the furnace that is the Valley of the Sun. I grew up here in the desert and have some fond memories from childhood despite the overwhelming heat.

I can remember laying on the grass in the shade of a tree watching the white fluffy clouds float by with my friend. We would lie there looking for shapes in the clouds. Mostly we were looking for horses and dogs because that’s what we loved, but we saw other things too.

When it got to 115̊ºF we would try to fry an egg on the sidewalk. We heard it could be done…it can’t. And of course, as young kids we never wanted to wear shoes, so we would run to each other’s houses barefoot, burning our feet on the hot sidewalks and asphalt, and cooling them in the grass.

During the hottest part of the day, we would huddle inside and play board games or cards in the cool house.

Sometimes, we were able to go to the local pool and swim with our friends. That was always a favorite. Any time swimming was involved we were excited about the activity. So, we looked forward to weekend pool parties at the neighbor’s house. When we got our own pool, of course, pool fun was much easier and taken advantage of much more frequently.
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As we got older, we were able to go bowling and to the movies as a way of staying busy, having fun, and staying cool. I also looked forward to family camping trips and Girl Scout camping trips during the summer. I loved camping because we got to go up to the mountains into the tall pines. It was cooler and usually breezy. I loved to listen to the wind blowing through the ponderosa pine trees. It was a beautiful, peaceful sound.

Monsoon season was exciting with the dust storms and thunderstorms which gave a break from the heat. I loved watching the wall of dust as it moved toward the house from the east. It was the most amazing sight to this huge wall of dust rolling toward you. As it got closer the wind would start to pick up. And then it was upon you and the sky would turn orange from the dust filtering the light from the sun. Finally, the thunderstorm would follow with big drops of rain, flashes of lightning, and booming thunder. And almost as fast as it came, it was gone. It was unfortunate when the thunderstorm didn’t follow and all you got was wind and dust. Or just enough rain to get everything dirty. But when you had a thunderstorm, it would cool everything down for a little while, giving a much needed break from the heat.

These are some of my fond memories growing up here in the Valley of the Sun. What are some of yours? What can you do to bring some of those memories to life again this summer? There are many things available to us as adults. Maybe check out some art galleries or museums, try one of the dine-in movie theatres, or organize an escape game party or board game party.

The pool is still a great way to have fun. If you have a family but don’t have a pool, take the kids to the local public pool or splash pad, or a water park. And a movie or game night is always a good option for the family. If you are single, organize a group of friends for a game night. There are so many great games out there today that are new and exciting.

So, resurrect the kid in you this summer. Find an activity that you can do to beat the heat and have some fun this summer! And teach your children how to have fun away from the electronics despite the heat. And make the time to relax in any way that is meaningful to you.
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Reminder:  Keep your kids safe near water this summer.
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