Thanksgiving is often seen as a time for family, a time to gather around a table full of food, share stories, and celebrate the warmth of connection. It's a day where traditions are cherished, and the importance of family and togetherness is emphasized. Yet, for many, this holiday can also stir up feelings of loneliness or stress, even in the midst of family.
For those who struggle with being alone, Thanksgiving can amplify that feeling of isolation. It can be a reminder of what’s missing—whether it's the absence of loved ones due to distance, loss, or fractured relationships. Even for those who are blessed to be surrounded by family, the pressures of expectations of needing to be present for all families all the time can be overwhelming. Even if expectations aren’t there, we can sometimes put pressure on ourselves to try to be everywhere for everyone.
On the flip side, there are also those who, despite being surrounded by family, might crave some space. Or maybe you just need a mental break this year due to being overwhelmed with work and a hectic life schedule. Being in close quarters with relatives can be both wonderful and taxing. The noise, the conversations, the demands of social interaction—it’s a lot. In these moments, the desire to withdraw and recharge can feel conflicting. We love our families, but we’re also human, and sometimes we need time alone to reset, reflect, or just breathe.
So, how do we reconcile these two sides—the pull toward connection and the need for solitude?
Set Boundaries:
It’s okay to express your need for space. If you're feeling overwhelmed by the chaos of the day or need a moment of quiet, it's important to communicate that to your family. Often, people aren’t aware of how much you need time to yourself. You don’t need to justify or apologize for it. Taking care of your mental health, especially on a day that’s meant to be joyful, should be prioritized.
Find Small Moments of Connection:
If you’re feeling alone, try to focus on small moments where you can feel connected. A brief conversation with someone you trust, a shared laugh, or a quiet moment with a friend can help ease feelings of isolation. Remember that you don’t have to experience the holiday in one big, picture-perfect chunk. Sometimes it’s the little moments that matter most.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Whether you’re alone or with others, Thanksgiving is a reminder that we don’t always have to meet the expectations of what others believe the holiday should be. If you’re struggling, it’s okay to not feel “Thanksgiving-perfect.” Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling, and don’t beat yourself up for it. Be kind to yourself—sometimes, we’re the ones who need the most grace.
Embrace the Complexities:
Family dynamics are complicated, and holidays can bring out the best and worst in us. If you're navigating tricky family relationships, give yourself permission to acknowledge those complexities without judgment. It’s okay to set limits and step away if things get too heavy. And for those who find solace in being alone, know that taking time for yourself doesn’t diminish your love for others.
Thanksgiving is a day meant to appreciate what we have, but it’s also a reminder that we are all carrying our own struggles and joys. Whether you’re surrounded by a loud, lively family or sitting alone at the table, the key is to honor your own needs. The balance between connection and solitude is different for each of us, and it’s okay to find a space in between.
However, you choose to spend the day, be gentle with yourself, and remember: You’re never truly alone in the human experience of both longing for togetherness and needing time for yourself.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Take care,
Dr Beth
For those who struggle with being alone, Thanksgiving can amplify that feeling of isolation. It can be a reminder of what’s missing—whether it's the absence of loved ones due to distance, loss, or fractured relationships. Even for those who are blessed to be surrounded by family, the pressures of expectations of needing to be present for all families all the time can be overwhelming. Even if expectations aren’t there, we can sometimes put pressure on ourselves to try to be everywhere for everyone.
On the flip side, there are also those who, despite being surrounded by family, might crave some space. Or maybe you just need a mental break this year due to being overwhelmed with work and a hectic life schedule. Being in close quarters with relatives can be both wonderful and taxing. The noise, the conversations, the demands of social interaction—it’s a lot. In these moments, the desire to withdraw and recharge can feel conflicting. We love our families, but we’re also human, and sometimes we need time alone to reset, reflect, or just breathe.
So, how do we reconcile these two sides—the pull toward connection and the need for solitude?
Set Boundaries:
It’s okay to express your need for space. If you're feeling overwhelmed by the chaos of the day or need a moment of quiet, it's important to communicate that to your family. Often, people aren’t aware of how much you need time to yourself. You don’t need to justify or apologize for it. Taking care of your mental health, especially on a day that’s meant to be joyful, should be prioritized.
Find Small Moments of Connection:
If you’re feeling alone, try to focus on small moments where you can feel connected. A brief conversation with someone you trust, a shared laugh, or a quiet moment with a friend can help ease feelings of isolation. Remember that you don’t have to experience the holiday in one big, picture-perfect chunk. Sometimes it’s the little moments that matter most.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Whether you’re alone or with others, Thanksgiving is a reminder that we don’t always have to meet the expectations of what others believe the holiday should be. If you’re struggling, it’s okay to not feel “Thanksgiving-perfect.” Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling, and don’t beat yourself up for it. Be kind to yourself—sometimes, we’re the ones who need the most grace.
Embrace the Complexities:
Family dynamics are complicated, and holidays can bring out the best and worst in us. If you're navigating tricky family relationships, give yourself permission to acknowledge those complexities without judgment. It’s okay to set limits and step away if things get too heavy. And for those who find solace in being alone, know that taking time for yourself doesn’t diminish your love for others.
Thanksgiving is a day meant to appreciate what we have, but it’s also a reminder that we are all carrying our own struggles and joys. Whether you’re surrounded by a loud, lively family or sitting alone at the table, the key is to honor your own needs. The balance between connection and solitude is different for each of us, and it’s okay to find a space in between.
However, you choose to spend the day, be gentle with yourself, and remember: You’re never truly alone in the human experience of both longing for togetherness and needing time for yourself.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Take care,
Dr Beth
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